I’d just like to say a big fuck you to all of the people out there that glamorise anorexia & eating disorders & treat it as if it would be a blessing to have. NO. FUCK YOU. We are ruled by our illness, we lose touch with ourselves & reality. Food is on our mind 24/7, literally, & when we aren’t…
☆ indie ☆
I’d just like to say a big fuck you to all of the people out there that glamorise anorexia & eating disorders & treat it as if it would be a blessing to have. NO. FUCK YOU. We are ruled by our illness, we lose touch with ourselves & reality. Food is on our mind 24/7, literally, & when we aren’t thinking about food, we’re thinking about calories IN the FOOD, we think about how much exercise we did this morning & the fact that it wasn’t enough & that we should have done more, we stare at other girls legs & stomachs & even try to follow them around to make ourselves feel guilty enough to skip lunch & dinner. Its waking up at 5 in the morning & sneaking to the bathroom to weigh yourself. It’s becoming a compulsive liar & becoming so good at it that it becomes second nature. Its not letting ANYONE see or watch you eat because you feel so fucking guilty & disgusting that you put anything in your mouth. It’s sleepless nights crying yourself to sleep because of how fat you think you are & how you believe that you’re the scum of the earth because you had an apple when you shouldn’t have. It’s religiously measuring yourself to see if you have reached your goal, & even if you have, it’s never enough. It’s snapping at the people that mean the most to you, it’s isolating yourself from everything & everyone you love because you do not feel worthy. It’s when it’s a summers day & you feel like it’s -100 degrees & can’t stop your teeth from chattering or shaking even though you have 3 jumpers on. Its when your nails begin to get deep dents in them, & your hair starts falling out, & your teeth begin I become transparent. It’s where you start growing excess hair because your body is going into survival mode & when your internal organs slowly begin to fail. It’s where you are on the verge of having a heart attack. ITS KILLING YOURSELF, ITS FUCKING MURDER
I’m sorry, but if you think that THAT, is glamourise, you really need to get your head out of your fucking ass & have some fucking respect for us whom are battling this horrible, horrible mental illness.
J.W. Anderson Fall 2014 backstage by Roberta Ridolfi